“I eat a lot of sandwiches, who doesn’t man, sandwiches are easy to eat. But I hate sandwiches at New York deli’s, too much fuckin’ meat on the sandwich. It’s like a cow with a cracker on either side. “What would you like sir?” “A pastrami sandwich.” “Anything else?” “Yeah, a loaf of bread and some other people.” “What kind of bread?” “Rye… no, fuck, banana… you got banana bread?” “What kind of cheese?” “Cottage.” “Get the fuck out! I’m not makin’ a banana bread, pastrami, cottage cheese sandwich. That will severely ruin my reputation.”
-Mitch Hedberg